Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Be awake to the stories of the invisible woman ...

The stories I hear from the Visible Women at 60+ project women just blow me away. I am constantly reminded of the resilience, sheer grit and determination of the female spirit. These stories make me think about the order of things and our expectations of what our lives should be like. And how we respond when things don't go as planned. 

It seems that from the day we are born, we are somehow bound by the expectation that life will proceed in a linear fashion - in a line where certain things will occur at certain times. Even if our experience tells us that life is about jagged lines, unconnected lines, curves and circles, we and the people around us derive a sense of stability and comfort from the notion of the linear line. 

Women of my generation have had the opportunity to live our lives in way that would be unimaginable to our mothers and grandmothers. But we had no blueprint to respond to the choices suddenly at our fingertips during the 60s and 70s. We made it up as we went. Some of us fought to retain the linear norms, others broke the mould completely. But one thing is certain. The woman in her 60s sitting quietly next to you in the bus, at work or at a party will have her story. Imagine her life. Have a conversation if you can and just listen. She may surprise you. She will only share what she chooses to, so be satisfied with that. 

She may tell you her father came back from the war a damaged man and as a result she, her mother and siblings lived in an environment of violence, darkness and fear. She may tell you she spent many years in an unhealthy straight marriage and now finds happiness in a lesbian relationship. She may tell you her husband went to jail and left her to raise four young children alone. 
She may tell you she met her husband at 17 and they are still married 45 years later. She may tell you she was called the ugly duckling, was bullied and taunted at school and after three marriages has now found the love of her life. She may tell you that she was only expected to live to 35 because of a disability and here she still is. She may tell you she found love through a virtual world and married her virtual man in real life at age 60. She may tell you of her near death experience and now doesn't fear dying. She may tell you she has survived cancer or that she had a starfish tattooed on her bottom when she was 60. 
She may tell you about the teachings of the Red Skirt and she may say "We ain't done yet, there is heaps more to come".

This project isn't biographical, It's about the how each women feels about the here and now and that is portrayed through their photograph and the words they have chosen to write themselves. The book gives you time to savour the photographs and soak in the words. The most precious thing we have time. 



Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Invisible victory for women in their 40s-70s.

This week I'm wondering why the Dominion Post only managed to rustle up two sentences about the CanSurvive womens dragon boat team winning the Team of the Year award in the Wellington Sports Awards on the 5 June. Here's what was written in Section B (Sports) page 13 on 5 June. 

"The CanSurvive Dragon Boat team were surprise winners of team of the year, beating out the Firebirds and and National Basketball league-winning Wellington Saints. The team is made up of breast cancer survivors and came third out of 101 teams at the International Breast Cancer Commission dragon boat competition in Florida in October."

It seems the Dom Post doesn't quite know what to do with the success of a group of 25 women in their 40s-70s, other than to say it was a 'surprise' win. Why the surprise? Because two of the women are in their 40's, 14 are in their 50's, six are their 60s and three are in their 70s? The youngest of the team of 25 is 44 and the eldest is 73.

And hello? In addition to coming "third out of 101 teams at the International Breast Cancer Commission dragon boat competition in Florida in October" they are also the national title holders of the New Zealand Dragon Boat Association Breast Cancer Division in 2014, multiple Bronze and Silver medallists in competition in Wellington, Auckland, and the National Dragon Boat regattas over the 2014-2015 summer season.

Julia Bracegirdle, one of women in the team, is one of the wonderful women featured in the 'Visible 60 Women at 60' book, exhibition and stage show.  Take a look at the video of Julia telling her story on stage in March as she brought the house down as she pulled medal after medal out from her lycra cycling gear. As well as the dragon boat racing, Julia has had individual success in triathlons, including Ironman over the last couple of years. It's unimaginable to me!  This is a woman who since she was 23 fought illness, including surviving breast cancer and was unable to be involved in sport until she was in her fifties. And you can be sure that every woman in this team will have an equally amazing story.  The team has been around since 2003. They train long and hard and through being positive and determined, inspire each other to achieve their success.

So why hasn't the Dom Post, as our largest local rag, come forward and interviewed these amazing women, taken photos and celebrated their success with the rest of our community? What's the problem?

I'll leave you to ponder that and love to hear your thoughts.

Good on the Kapiti Independent News for their great story about the win. It is warm and celebratory.

The links below will take you to more information about CanSurviveNZ.